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17 September 2014 @ 11:56 am
Rising From the Dead  
Four years! I haven't been on this journal in four years, and I don't know what inspired me to remember it and come back. Too much has changed since then to write about it in a single entry so I won't even try. I'll just move along as if I'd never left and hope that if anyone besides me bothers to read these that there will be enough clues in context to figure it all out.
Joshua asked me the other day if I was the tooth fairy. I don't know what's best - to be upfront and explain the story and the tradition and hope he understands, or do what I did, which was to say, "Why would I want a bunch of little teeth? I don't know why the tooth fairy wants them, but I certainly don't need any teeth."
Maybe it's because I live with one foot in a fantasy world already, but to me, even though I've done the mechanics of the job, I still hold onto this belief that there really is some etheric tooth fairy out there - as real as anything else. That I'm doing my part to help her out by distributing little bits of magic in my own small human way.
Brian would tell him the "truth" as he sees it. He doesn't hold with Santa Claus and holidays and holding a child's gullibility sacred. He sees his job as teaching them to be a grown up and deal with the world as it is, but he has contradictory parts of his personality even if he doesn't like to acknowledge it. Why else is he attracted to mythology or scared of ghosts even as he denies their existence? He isn't a completely rational materialist even though he likes to pretend he is.
And isn't that also a fantasy world? I wonder why each person is sure that what they think and perceive is reality when there is no way of ever knowing what is "real" and what is not. In the end, does it really matter?
I don't trust my sense alone, and it's partly this reason that people find me strange. That and I say weird things like "Instead of sleep keeping our eyes shut in the morning, what if it were sparkling bows that we had to untie, and then out eyes would pop open?" I said this to Brian this morning when he drove me to the train station, and he shook his head at me and said as he's said before, "You're so weird."
Current Mood: curiouscurious